Binge

Last night was a binge.
Like a major binge.
I'm talking a large pizza, packet of marshmallows, 8 caramel koalas, 5 brownies, and a shit to more.
How did I fuck up this bad?
Yet this morning I weighed less… Must be water weight I know.
So if I could stop fucking up and get to 50kg that would be great.

Fired

He's done it. He has finally done it.
My manager fired me on Monday.
No reason. No explanation. No fucks given.

The place is owned by a celebrity chef, and I am so tempted to go to a media outlet and let them know all the illegal shit that goes on there. Just to cause a major shit storm for this manager.
Of course I won't because, besides him, I love everyone there so much. They are a great bunch of misfits. So many good nights of drinking with those guys. I'm going to miss them so much.

So fuck you! I'm going to be the bigger person here and not stir up all the shit. But know that I have two fingers in the air right now. Fuck you mate. Fuck you.

Humiliated

My boss came up to me today and laughed in my face.

"You're shit at coffee. Garry hates your coffee. Your coffee is shit!" Cue laughing.

Normally I deal with this shit pretty well and just brush it off. Not today. It's been a week of him laughing in my face and telling me how shit I am at life.

I couldn't do it today. I just couldn't. I fucked straight out of there. One of the other managers came out and asked me what was wrong and I just told him to fire me. I couldn't handle it any more. I can't. I just can't.

Of course I'll be there again tomorrow, because I'm chicken shit.

In the end nothing ever changes.

Maybe that's my problem. I'm too scared to change anything.
Actually fuck that. The problem is my dick head boss.

Yep.

One week, 100%

One week, 100% commitment. 

This week I only ordered lunch and dinner meals. Roughly 800 calories per day. 

I know that's a large number for restricting, but it's more achievable than the standard 200-500. 

My limit for the next 7 days is 910 calories, meaning a weight loss of 0.1kg per day. 

I've finished my food for today and all up it comes to 787 calories. Again, it's not low, but it is not bad. In fact I am kind of proud I guess. 

Cheers to skinny bitches.

Fatty Fat

Strawberry yoghurt crunch

Red apple

Parmasen and corn muffin

All before 1pm.

Hello fatty fatty.

No Latte Art

"No latte art"
-Famous last words

My manager today just told me that we are no longer permitted to have latte art on our coffees.
What the actual fuck??

Okay so there is only one (good) reason that a cafe should not have latte art.
That reason is if they are a roaster and want only the crema on top. The crema is where the most intense flavour of the coffee and where all the beautiful notes can be tasted.
Now if you work with shitty beans and a temperamental machine, you do not do this…. there is no need.

Latte art is actually a sign of a good coffee. Any coffee with clear, free pour art on it is proof of two things.

1. Good espresso. If the espresso is shit, the crema won't hold and you won't have the beautiful contrasting colours.
2. Good milk. Lovely creamy milk. If it is shitty and bubbly, you won't have clean lines.

So why the fuck would you say no fucking latte art?

Farewell my beautiful friend and passion… I shall miss you

Family

So after my little rant, I came home to see the fridge, freezer, kitchen, and living room have all been organised and scrubbed down.

My house mates are the best dysfunctional family.

House Interviews

So we had house interviews today…
From 3pm-7pm I had to deal with meeting, greeting, and chatting to strangers non stop.
Hello social anxiety.

Thankfully we found one who didn't suck balls.

On a sour note. If I fucking clean the fucking house for house interviews, can my house mates keep the fucking house clean for like five hours?
To be fair, they all just cam home from a massive music festival and were having a really bad come down. I knew how it would be so I cleaned the house from top to bottom and had fresh chips and lasagne in the oven for them. Still. Shit was dropped everywhere… Started to quietly ask them to maybe put some things in their rooms before people arrived. Nope. Next thing I knew there was a knock on the door, and the first interview began. I had such an emotional panic attack I couldn't even meet the first guy. I was locked up in the storage room crying my eyes out. Yep. Sexy.

Let them drink

Fatty

I ate peanut butter…
Not just a spoonful.
I ate five fucking huge soup spoons of that shit.
I'm too scared to let myself do the math.

"Oh my god I'm so fat"
"Shit man, I gotta loose some weight."
"Pull your shit together and stop eating shit"
and then I fucking go out of my room and shove that shit in my face.

What a fucking pig.

Short Hospo Rant

Wait to be seated mother fucker!

Seriously, don't fucking walk straight in and sit down where ever you fucking feel like okay. This is so wrong for so many reasons.

Sit yourself down and you won't get served. Seriously. It's a big fucking restaurant and no one will notice the fact that there are two snarky bitches sitting on 25. Wait for someone to seat you and they will tell your section waitstaff that there is a new table and you will be taken care of.

If you sit yourself down you don't give me a chance to tell you how our restaurant works. For example, outside is self service. But now you don't fucking know that because you walked straight through the door and outside and plopped your merry arse down. You will then inevitably come storming back inside in half an hour to yell and complain that no one has taken your order…. For fucking real… If you waited 30 seconds to be seated you would have had all this shit explained to you.

Happy faces of those who wait to be seated...

Depressed as fuck

Ever been so depressed that you spend all day staring at the pile of the laundry growing in the corner but the mere thought of moving it 30 meters to the laundry is enough to exhaust you back to sleep?

I get one day off work every two weeks and always go to bed with the best intentions of using those precious hours for productivity, only to wake in the morning and be crippled with the weight of the world.

It fucking sucks man. There is nothing glamourous about this. There is nothing romantic about this.

Depression sucks fucking balls.

Fatty

58.4kg motha foka!
Haha I know its still huge and that I have so much more weight to loose but 8.4kg seems so much less daunting than 10.8kg.
I've been on lite'n'easy for one week and so far it's been great. I'm obviously skeptical about loosing weight this way. Diets for me normally consist of 150-500 calories a day and excessive exercise, but right now I'm eating three meals a day. Three different and delicious meals a day.

TLDR: Still a fat heffa, but making progress.

Midnight Mumbles

It's 2:40 in the morning and I'm sitting here thinking of you.
Your hair, your smell, the way your knees clicked every time you knelt down to brush a kiss on my lips.
I miss you so much. It was only three months of my life, but you changed everything. You reached into the deep dark corners of me and found the dirty shame I hid inside. You showed me it was okay. You wiped off the shame. You threw away the stigma. You made me proud of who I am.
I told my parents about you. That's right. I even told my religious parents about this crazy beautiful girl that I couldn't stop dreaming about.
It was only three months and now you're gone.
Why did you have to leave like that? You didn't give me time to get angry or sad. You didn't let me feel betrayed or hurt. You didn't give me time to feel anything.
One second I'm holding and kissing you, the next I'm reaching out to catch a final glimpse of your beautiful red hair before you disappear into that car forever.
Now I sit at home watching Youtube just trying not to think, not to remember, not to call.
I know you have a new life. A life that is better for you. I know I should be happy, and I know I shouldn't call.
But it's 2:45 in the morning and I'm sitting here thinking of you.