Fatty Fat

Strawberry yoghurt crunch

Red apple

Parmasen and corn muffin

All before 1pm.

Hello fatty fatty.

No Latte Art

"No latte art"
-Famous last words

My manager today just told me that we are no longer permitted to have latte art on our coffees.
What the actual fuck??

Okay so there is only one (good) reason that a cafe should not have latte art.
That reason is if they are a roaster and want only the crema on top. The crema is where the most intense flavour of the coffee and where all the beautiful notes can be tasted.
Now if you work with shitty beans and a temperamental machine, you do not do this…. there is no need.

Latte art is actually a sign of a good coffee. Any coffee with clear, free pour art on it is proof of two things.

1. Good espresso. If the espresso is shit, the crema won't hold and you won't have the beautiful contrasting colours.
2. Good milk. Lovely creamy milk. If it is shitty and bubbly, you won't have clean lines.

So why the fuck would you say no fucking latte art?

Farewell my beautiful friend and passion… I shall miss you

Family

So after my little rant, I came home to see the fridge, freezer, kitchen, and living room have all been organised and scrubbed down.

My house mates are the best dysfunctional family.

House Interviews

So we had house interviews today…
From 3pm-7pm I had to deal with meeting, greeting, and chatting to strangers non stop.
Hello social anxiety.

Thankfully we found one who didn't suck balls.

On a sour note. If I fucking clean the fucking house for house interviews, can my house mates keep the fucking house clean for like five hours?
To be fair, they all just cam home from a massive music festival and were having a really bad come down. I knew how it would be so I cleaned the house from top to bottom and had fresh chips and lasagne in the oven for them. Still. Shit was dropped everywhere… Started to quietly ask them to maybe put some things in their rooms before people arrived. Nope. Next thing I knew there was a knock on the door, and the first interview began. I had such an emotional panic attack I couldn't even meet the first guy. I was locked up in the storage room crying my eyes out. Yep. Sexy.

Let them drink

Fatty

I ate peanut butter…
Not just a spoonful.
I ate five fucking huge soup spoons of that shit.
I'm too scared to let myself do the math.

"Oh my god I'm so fat"
"Shit man, I gotta loose some weight."
"Pull your shit together and stop eating shit"
and then I fucking go out of my room and shove that shit in my face.

What a fucking pig.

Short Hospo Rant

Wait to be seated mother fucker!

Seriously, don't fucking walk straight in and sit down where ever you fucking feel like okay. This is so wrong for so many reasons.

Sit yourself down and you won't get served. Seriously. It's a big fucking restaurant and no one will notice the fact that there are two snarky bitches sitting on 25. Wait for someone to seat you and they will tell your section waitstaff that there is a new table and you will be taken care of.

If you sit yourself down you don't give me a chance to tell you how our restaurant works. For example, outside is self service. But now you don't fucking know that because you walked straight through the door and outside and plopped your merry arse down. You will then inevitably come storming back inside in half an hour to yell and complain that no one has taken your order…. For fucking real… If you waited 30 seconds to be seated you would have had all this shit explained to you.

Happy faces of those who wait to be seated...

Depressed as fuck

Ever been so depressed that you spend all day staring at the pile of the laundry growing in the corner but the mere thought of moving it 30 meters to the laundry is enough to exhaust you back to sleep?

I get one day off work every two weeks and always go to bed with the best intentions of using those precious hours for productivity, only to wake in the morning and be crippled with the weight of the world.

It fucking sucks man. There is nothing glamourous about this. There is nothing romantic about this.

Depression sucks fucking balls.